AAAAHHHH!!!

You have to understand that I get anxious about everything. I am trying, trying, trying to take everything in stride, only do what is humanly possible, and not break down if things change at last second. But this is not easy. Especially for me.

And we're five days until opening night. We have a bigger space for rehearsal tonight and Wednesday, which I'm excited about. The actors will have room to walk around! The soundtrack is in major craziness. I don't listen to anything instrumental, but there's no times to let vocals have the effect they normally could during a blackout. I could edit songs, but, seriously, I don't have a lot of time. Dana wants the soundtrack tonight.

I am definitely at the point where I don't know if the show is any good. Sometimes I feel like Ayla talks too much, that Kevin becomes a stereotype at the end (which is not necessarily a bad thing, I just haven't decided if that's what I want), that Valeri/Danielle and Jamie/Joe could have more lines (especially after I found out how talented Rob is), that the show might be horrible entirely, that the show is perfect, that everything is crazy and that everything is going according to schedule.

I just want opening night. And I don't. Because then it'll all be over. Ah, the post-partum will be hitting hard on Monday. I suppose that's life's way of telling me how much I love this stuff and that I need to fight, tooth and nail, to keep doing this. I want to talk to other playwrights, and find out how they do this.

I wonder if there will be any press for this.